Mike Schuster · 19-time "Stump the D.J." Winner
Mike "" Gonsalves
September 17, 1962 - February 20, 2003
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"Stump the DJ" Joke Contest
I find Paul & Al's Stump the DJ the most consistently entertaining hour of radio on the air (tune in to 94.1 FM Thursday mornings at 9:00AM to listen). I remember the first time I heard it just over a decade ago - I thought "This is great, these guys want to hear jokes that I often get criticized for telling". A few years earlier I had written a joke computer program that contained hundreds of jokes. The next week I searched the data files of my joke program for some timely Thanksgiving jokes, found a few, called in for the first time, and won!!! I thought "This is easy - I'm going to win every week". Well, I haven't won every week but I did win 4 times in the first year! Since then I've come to know Paul & Al quite well and have become a regular contributor to their show. I was even invited to shave and paint my head live on the air in preparation for SuperBowls XXXI, XXXVI, and XXXVIII (click here for audio and photos) and Contributing to the Paul & Al show has become one of my most satisfying hobbies and I've been honored to have been named winner of Stump the D.J. 19 times !

Something some people just can't fathom is how Paul & Al remember so many jokes - in fact one listener was convinced that they look up jokes on a computer when they're phoned in. click here to listen (10/26/00).

Click the links below to listen - and if you have a good joke you can email it to me by clicking here.
19th win: Michael Jackson, How to Tell if You're Gay - 6/16/05
18th win: Close Encounters - January 6, 2005
17th win: S.W.A.T. Teams - April 22, 2004
16th win: Sausage Whacking - July 17, 2003
15th win: Gorilla Joke Part 1· · ·Part 2 - October 11, 2001
14th win: Weakest Link - July 12, 2001
13th win: Jewish Mother - February 15, 2001
Near win: Patriots Joke - September 21, 2000
12th win: What's Yellow & Green...? - August 17, 2000
11th win: Backstreet Boys - March 23, 2000
10th win: State Workers - May 27, 1999
9th win: The Elephant Joke - June 1998
Near win: Roman Fellatio - December 12, 1996
6th win: Beer Jokes Part 1· · ·Part 2 - Spring 1996
5th win: French Kiss Joke - July 28, 1994
4th win: More Turkey Day Jokes - November 25, 1992
3rd win: Golf and Cows - September 17, 1992
2nd win: Beautiful Girl on a Bus... - June 4, 1992
1st win: Thanksgiving Jokes - November 27, 1991
More of "Stump the DJ"
Xmas Jokes - 12/19/91 · · · Pizza Wars - 05/07/92 · · · MS-150 Bicycling - 06/11/92 · · · Transcontinental Railroad - 06/18/92 · · · Polish Proctology - 08/13/92 · · · Priests and Bears - 08/27/92 · · · Amy Fisher Drink - 01/07/93 · · · Michael Jackson Glove - 02/11/93 · · · Pizza and Miss R.I. - 03/18/93 · · · Blondes and Miss R.I. - 03/18/93 · · · Don Cortisone - 03/25/93 · · · Single Holiday & Bingo 04/01/93 · · · Lawyers in Heaven? - 04/01/93_ · · · Easter and Alzheimers - 04/08/93 · · · Polish Highway Worker and Armless DJ - 04/15/93 · · · Cats & Dogs, plus a Doctor - 04/22/93 · · · Fishing, French Asthma, & David Letterman - 06/24/93 · · · Mexican Jokes - 1/6/94 · · · Monkey Jokes - 8/25/94 · · · Giraffe Jokes, Corvette Club - Summer 1994 · · · Whorehouse Nationalities - Summer 1994 · · · Engagement Jokes - 7/13/95 · · · Paul's Barium Enema - 11/95 · · · SuperBowl - 1/25/96 · · · Paul's 40th & Einstein Joke - 3/14/96 · · · Easter Jokes - Spring 1996 · · · Mountain Goats - Spring 1996 · · · Len Bias - June 1996 · · · Wedding Jokes - June 1996 · · · Plane Crash - July 1996 · · · Peter Sellers - 1996 · · · Margot Adams - 1996 · · · Michael Jackson - 8/29/96 · · · Dog & Mosquito Jokes - 1996 · · · Oktoberfest Beer - 9/96 · · · Chelsea Clinton & NY Jets Jokes - 11/7/96 · · · Roman Fellatio - 12/12/96 · · · St. Patricks Day - March 1997 · · · Easter - April 1997 · · · Flatulence - Spring 1997 · · · Golf - Spring 1997 · · · Lesbians - Spring 1997 · · · Comedians & Proctologists, etc, - Spring 1997 · · · Divorce - Spring 1997 · · · O.J. Simpson - June 1997 · · · Mike Tyson - Summer 1997 · · · Beach - July 1997 · · · Mistresses & Boyfriends - July 1997 · · · Klingons - Summer 1997 · · · Princess Diana - Summer 1997 · · · Incontinent Nuns - Summer 1997 · · · Ironing Board - 10/97 · · · Xmas Jokes - 12/18/97 · · · Al's 40th - 3/1/98 · · · New Job - 3/26/98 · · · Hunting Dog - Spring 1998 · · · Clinton, Schwarzennegger, Rednecks - 7/3/98 · · · Monica and Bill - 9/10/98 · · · Wine into Water - 10/1/98 · · · Michael Jackson, Indian Prom - 12/3/98 · · · Lousy Indian Hunter 12/10/98 · · · Xmas - 12/24/98 · · · Xmas Driving to Quebec - 12/24/98 · · · Blonde, Lawyer - 1/28/99 · · · Swallowed Glass Eye - 2/4/99 · · · Clinton & Gore in Air Force One - 2/11/99 · · · Golf - 4/22/99 · · · Gardening - 5/6/99 · · · Adam & Eve - 6/10/99 · · · Monica Lewinsky - 6/99 · · · 4th of July - 7/1/99 · · · New Age Music, Blonde & Lawyer - 7/15/99 · · · Clinton & McEnroe - 7/29/99 · · · Redneck Condom, Blonde & Sperm Bank, Doctor & Lawyer on Vacation - 9/2/99 · · · Jen's Puppy - 9/16/99 · · · Ryder Cup - 9/23/99 · · · German Tampon - 10/7/99 · · · Atheist Orgasm, DisneyWorld - 10/14/99 · · · Veteran's Day 11/11/99 · · · Feminist Leg Shaving - 12/99 · · · Valentine's Day - 2/10/00 · · · Cripple V.D., Blondes & Seagulls - 2/17/00 · · · Impressionist & Cabbie - 3/2/00 · · · Politics - 3/9/00 · · · Easter - 4/20/00 · · · Pope - 5/18/00 · · · Blonde w/ Alzheimers, Viagra Prescription - 6/00 · · · Blonde & Brunette Orgasms, Drunk & Wife - 6/00 · · · Ricky Martin - 6/22/00 · · · 4th of July - 6/29/00 · · · Shooting Arrows & Kathie Lee - 7/00 · · · 10th Anniversary, Hangovers & Women - 7/20/00 · · · West Nile Mosquito - 8/3/00 · · · Concorde, German Lover - 8/10/00 · · · Survivor Richard Hatch - 8/24/00 · · · Princess Di - 8/31/00 · · · Patriots Stadium Revenue, Olympics - 9/14/00 · · · Bobby Knight, Lottery - 10/5/00 · · · Patriots/Colts - 10/23/00 · · · Petrol, Little Johnny Game - 10/26/00 · · · What to Look for in a Woman - 10/26/00 · · · Political Jokes · · · Thanksgiving Jokes - 11/16/00 · · · Illegal Aliens, Florida Ballot, Gore, Florida Bikini - 11/30/00 · · · Xmas Jokes - 12/21/00 · · · Cornholing Firemen - 12/28/00 · · · Southern Fire, Michael Jackson & Boyz II Men - 1/11/01 · · · NYC Cabbie, George Bush & Gold Urinal - 1/18/01 · · · Foxy Lady - 1/18/01 · · · Lincoln Almond's Prostate, Liberace, Matzo Braille - 1/25/01 · · · Woman Rising from the Dead, Little Johnny & Heifers - 2/1/01 · · · Groundhog & U.R.I. Rams - 2/8/01 · · · Clinton Pardon, Lose Wife, Jewish Mom - 2/15/01 · · · O.J. Valentine, Go Fly a Kite, Hannibal - 2/22/01 · · · More Hannibal - 2/28/01 · · · Irish - 3/15/01 · · · State Worker, Polish Vasectomy, Quebec Separatist - 4/5/01 · · · Jesse Jackson, Easter - 4/12/01 · · · Redneck Hunting - 4/19/01 · · · Cock Fight - 5/3/01 · · · Hockey - 5/10/01 · · · Redneck Theater - 5/10/01 · · · Dale Earnhart & Jacques Cousteau, Mute Golfer - 5/31/01 · · · Mad Cow Disease, Necrophilia - 6/21/01 · · · Jim Shorts & Lincoln Almond - 7/5/01 · · · Weakest Link (1st Reading) - 7/12/01 · · · Gay Website, Adam & Eve - 7/26/01 · · · Carry On Luggage - 8/2/01 · · · 40th Anniversary, Ball Game, Viagra & Aspirin - 8/2/01 · · · Gay Homeless - 8/9/01 · · · Blonde, Sunday School - 8/16/01 · · · Princess Di - 8/30/01 · · · Greek Tampon, Jewish Pedophile (w/ Jim Shorts) - 9/6/01 · · · Afghanistans & Arabs - 9/20/01 · · · Jewish Jokes - 9/27/01 · · · Milk, Potatos, Grease - 10/4/01 · · · Halloween - 10/25/01 · · · Vagina Costume - 11/8/01 · · · Taliban Future - 11/8/01 · · · Thanksgiving - 11/15/01 · · · Paul's Cousin Bubba - 11/15/01 · · · Indian Thanksgiving, Illegal Aliens - 11/29/01 · · · Baby Seal, Washington & Jefferson - 12/6/01 · · · Over 50 Birth Control, Gays & Condom - 12/13/01 · · · Xmas Jokes - 12/20/01 · · ·

Other Paul & Al Fun
Good Morning Blues
Think your life sucks?
It could be worse...
Don't Play in the Dumpster - Spring 1997
Bellingham Lawn Mower Incident - May 1998
Insufficient Fingerprints - 8/19/98
Chimney Incident - 7/31/00
Cesspool Sinkhole - 9/5/01
Blowin' Chow with
Paul & Al
Nothing like a gross news item
first thing in the morning...
Fecal Transplant - 11/28/00
Nose Leach - 12/29/00
Transporting Dead Mom - 1/16/01
Czech Body Parts - 8/27/01
Aussie Cannibal - 11/9/01
Romanian CockRoaches - 12/12/01
Puking State Worker - 12/17/01
Paul & Al's
Wide World of Genitalia

Foreskin Grafting - 6/98
Pink Floyd Blimp - Mooning Amy Hagan - 5/25/94 · · · Corvette Club - Paul Harrington - Fall 1994 · · · British Limerick Contest - 11/96 · · · SuperBowl XXX - 1/26/96 · · · Patriots Opponents - 1/96 · · · Goat Testicle Transplants - 1996 · · · Al's 38th Birthday - 3/1/96 · · · Hermaphrodite & Paul's 40th · · · Hermaphrodite · · · Jackie O. Letter - First Reading · · · Jackie O. Letter - Second Reading · · · Patriots Schedule - Spring 1997 · · · Sox/Mets - 6/19/97 · · · Ask Shagg Sperm Whale Question - 8/98 · · · Penthouse Limerick - 8/27/98 · · · Al's 40th Birthday - 3/1/98 · · · Beer Truck Accident - 7/21/98 · · · Translations - 8/5/98 · · · Pedro Smoking - 9/25/98 · · · Basketball Coach - 1/99 · · · Puking Condors - 2/16/99 · · · Bruins/Rangers - 3/15/99 · · · Spincter Too Big for Toilet - 3/17/99 · · · Providence Bruins Parade - 6/99 · · · All-Star Game - 7/14/99 · · · Evil Aunt - 11/19/99 · · · Patriots Stadium Vote - 12/07/99 · · · Patriots Stadium Vote (Part 2) - 12/07/99 · · · 5:15 - 5/15/00 · · · Patriots Training Camp - 7/17/00 · · · Evidence Fingers Burglar - 8/7/00 · · · Alcoholic Dog - 8/31/00 · · · Stupid Potheads - 9/20/00 · · · Olympic Opinion - 9/28/00 · · · Presidental Election and Patriots Stadium Update - 11/8/00· · · First Grade Presidential Voting - 11/17/00 · · · Dream Job - 2/5/01 · · · Jesse Jackson Apology - 2/7/01 · · · Monkey & Coconut - 2/20/01 · · · PawSox Hooky Day - 4/25/01· · · "The Most Disgusting Human Being in America" - 4/26/01· · · An Eyeful A Day - 6/15/01· · · News Jen Missed · Eye Removal - 8/9/01· · · Skakel Witness - 8/9/01· · · Really Stupid Crimes · Chewed Fingers - 8/20/01· · · Roger Clemens' War Paint - 10/11/01· · · Nose Tweaking - 10/4/01· · · Anthrax Press Release - 10/24/01· · · Providence Bruins Paint - 11/9/01· · · Lord of the Rings / Led Zeppelin - 12/19/01· · · Ear Removal - 12/20/01· · · Lord of the Rings Review - 12/20/01· · ·

Backstage !!!

Jethro Tull

Journey

Yes

Bruce Springsteen Rehearsal in Ashbury Park!

patriots logo
SuperBowl XXXVI Fun
Click here for photos!
Once again I shaved and painted my head on 's Paul & Al show. This time WB56 in Boston also broadcasted the proceedings live!

Click here to listen to my conversation with Paul & Al the morning after the victory with no sleep.
Listen to the headshaving here!... Arrival· · · No Good Side, WB56· · · Airport Security, Maniacs,WB56· · · Suggestion for NewsChick Jen· · · WB56 Promo· · · Jim Shorts, WB Frog· · · Shaving Begins· · · No Good Side· · · Mowhawk· · · AntiChrist· · · Sam Adams Light· · · 5" Mowhawk, Ch.12· · · Jen Clark· · · SuperBowling· · · Progress?· · · James Bond· · · Johnny Skidmarks· · · Stencil· · · KMart· · · Painting Commences· · · Jim Shorts' Funeral· · · Calling Rob-boB· · · Good-Bye· · · Amy Hagan & Jen Clark· · · Charles & Laurenti - In Another Universe· · · Smelly Head· · · My Phone Call· · · The Starter: Br-edsoe


PawSox Hooky Day Pictures (and audio) - 4/25/01

patriots logo
SuperBowl XXXI
Click here for photos!

Paul & Al invited me on their show to have my head shaved and painted in preparation for the big game!

Headshaving Planning - 1/14/97 · · · Headshaving Promo - 1/16/97 · · · More Planning - 1/17/97 · · · Patriots Outfit - 1/17/97 · · · Gary the Barber - 1/17/97 · · · Jim Shorts - 1/17/97 · · · Final Preparations - 1/17/97 · · · Gel and Wax - 1/17/97 · · · Live Mohawking - 1/17/97 · · · More Cutting - 1/17/97 · · · Mohawk Taking Shape - 1/17/97 · · · C.C.'s Phone Call - 1/17/97 · · · Limp Mohawk - 1/17/97 · · · Done! - 1/17/97 · · · Spray Paint Prep - 1/17/97 · · · Nice Paint Job! - 1/17/97 · · · Interview w. Amy Hagan - 1/17/97 · · · Jim Shorts - 1/97 · · · Chowdah Hedz - 1/97 · · · Jim Shorts in N.O. - 1/97 · · · Auto Man - L.A. Update - 1/97 · · · Packer Confrontation - 1/22/97 · · · Bourbon Street - 1/22/97 · · · Day After - 1/27/97 · · · Plane Ride - 1/27/97 · · · Bus Station Call - 1/27/97 · · · Bourbon Street Catheter - 1/29/97

Paul & Al Trips
Here I am at the Rock Garden in London with Paul & Al · November 1996
I was fortunate enough to be able to go on both London trips (click here for photos).
First London Trip
I've Arrived! - 11/6/95
Tom Dempsey Anniversary - 11/8/95
British Foods - 11/9/95
One Man Audience - 11/10/95
British Limerick Contest
November 1996
Second London Trip
Bricks & Cats - 11/96
Samantha Fox - 11/96
Dry Heaves - 11/22/96
Also drove down to the Big Easy to join them for their New Orleans trip...
Patriots/Broncos MNF - 10/97
Seat Belt Tan Lines - 10/97

Other Highlights
Paul & Al
Mike Schuster Can't Drive 55 - 10/13/92
Rick O'B.
WorkForce Request - 10/15/92
Lou Brutus
Roger Waters CD - 8/11/92
Charles & Laurenti
Big Ass Key Win - 8/23/99
39th Birthday & 420 Club
Number 11
Geoff Charles
Letterman's Last NBC Show - 6/29/93
Conan O'Brien's 3rd Show - 9/15/93
Dr. Metal
Providence Bruins - 6/19/99
Patriots Draft - 4/15/00
Ryan
NostraDumbAss - 9/15/01

Birthday Wishes
34th· · · 35th· · · 36th· · · 37th· · · 38th· · · 39th· · · 40th· · · 40th(420)

Click here for Joke-lopedia information
Here I am (center) with Paul (right) & Al (left).
They're signing the very first Joke-lopedias sold for me!!!

·PBruins Obnoxious Fan Promotion - 5/10/01

19th Birthday Party Photos - 9/18/00


Survivor Promotion

Click here for larger pictures
Click links below to listen...
Charles & Laurenti - 2/28/01
Ryan - 2/28/01
More Ryan - 2/28/01
In the car! - 2/28/01
Paul & Al - 3/01/01

The Full Story Behind the Amy Hagan Mooning Incidents
Here I am with the lovely and
charming Amy Hagan.
I think she's smiling because
I didn't moon her here.
The last time Pink Floyd played in Foxboro I was outside washing my Vette and the Division Bell blimp flew right over me on its way from Mansfield Airport to Foxboro Stadium - so I mooned it (it seemed like a good idea at the time).
Later I found out Amy was in it!

The next time I saw her she didn't recognize me so I semi-mooned her to jog her memory. Since then I've been the butt of many jokes. In fact I'm somewhat em-bare-assed by the whole thing.

Click these links to hear the full story...
Pink Floyd Blimp - 5/25/94
Stump the D.J. - 8/25/94
Corvette Club of R.I. - Fall 1994

SuperBowl Head Shaving - 1/17/97
PawSox Hooky Day Pictures (and audio) - 4/25/01